Ugly Ducklings - Mansory's Newest "Creations" Show How Hideous Cars Can Be... (GIMS 2020)

in hive-174578 •  3 months ago  (edited)

Looking back at my time here on Steemit, I've written plenty of automotive posts, and I feel strongly about them. Not only because I'm passionate for all things car-related, but also as I'm on a self-inspired crusade to bring more petrol onto Steemit. Overall, rather wholesome goals, I think.

Credits to: GIPHY

It's not often that I take the chance to write on the bad side of the automotive world, and that's what I've prepared today. Read along, and you'll stumble on a lot of very bad, no good cars that will make you question its existence, and most importantly, who would buy them?

This is the dark side of the moon for car design. While some may say that looks are subjective, common sense dictates that there is a generalised consensus which separates good from bad. Clearly, no one informed the designers of these "creations " that they went a bit too far.

Credits to: Mansory (Geneva 2020)

I don't intend to pick on just one company, but it's hard not to target Mansory. Every year, the German modification company shows off the most bizarre, and ugliest cars on Geneva Motor Show floor. Covid-19 may have brought turmoil to humankind, but it hasn’t stopped Mansory from their work.

Ensuring that you don't vomit instantaneously, I have generously arranged Mansory's latest unveilings in order of ugliness - just like a dungeon crawler game. We're going to start at the surface level, with something relatively okay, and once we hit rock bottom, prepare your stomachs. A bit of a longer post than usual, so feel free to sit back and chill...

Credits to: GIPHY

8 Layers Of The Underworld.

Contents:

  • Audi RS6 Avant
  • Bentley Flying Spur
  • Mercedes G63 Armoured
  • Aventador SVJ "Cabrera"
  • Bentley GTC V8
  • Cullinan "Coastline"
  • Urus "Venatus"
  • Mercedes Star Strooper Pickup

A Wolf in Wolverine's Clothing - RS6 Avant.

Why get an SUV, when you can have a station wagon instead? Among the companies that make fast wagons, Audi's are arguably the best ones. For generations, the RS6 Avant sits at the peak - offering you plenty of power, Quattro all-wheel drive, and more than adequate storage for stuff, or pets.

Unless you need good off-roading capabilities, or you're doing some heavy hauling - you don't need a big SUV. An RS6 is the epitome of a sleeper car - one that you can bring to the racetrack, while also taking your family out for a picnic later.

Credits to: NetCarShow (Audi RS6 Avant - 2020)

It hides its identity well, though it seemed that Mansory decided to remove that subtlety, and to focus more on showing off all that German horsepower. For starters, they've bumped the twin-turbo V8's output to 720hp, with 738lb-ft of torque.

Compared to the rather unassuming bodylines of the standard RS6, Mansory's added a more aggressive body-kit, from front to rear. All these new additions have been made of carbon-fibre - which is something that you'll be reading a lot as you're going through this.

Credits to: Mansory (RS6 Avant)

Completing that edgy look, are those 22-inch wheels. Note, that Mansory's pictures often show different wheels on either side of the car, just for show. Going inside, we see some heavy lashings of Alcantara, which appears a bit too much.

Speaking of "too much", there are those orange stripes that accent the RS6's paintwork. Overall however, even with Mansory's rather bold RS6 demo here, it looks rather badass. Compared to the already handsome RS6, Mansory's changes suit the car well, and I have few negatives here.


Wafting Along - Bentley Flying Spur.

Credits to: NetCarShow (Bentley Flying Spur - 2020)

Bentley's refreshed Flying Spur is certainly a handsome car, as it exudes a sense of class and elegance, while storming down the road. Traditionally, like all Bentleys the VW-underpinnings are clothed in British magnificence.

There's no reason as to why you'd need to make any changes to it. Even if you want to, Bentley's in-house Mulliner division will do it for you, making your whimsical bespoke touches come true. Clearly, someone at Mansory thought, "Hey, we can do it even better! ".

Credits to: Mansory (Flying Spur)

That said, as much as I'd want to hate it, I can't find too many faults with Mansory's take on a bespoke Flying Spur, relatively speaking. So far, this appears rather acceptable, although that red bar on the bonnet, extending from the Flying "B" is a bit too much.

The red accents are also quite strong, with some of that piping going along the Flying Spur's strong body lines. But that's pretty much it for the negatives, as the interior looks rather nice to sit in - with some quilted leather and carbon trim.


I'll Catch A Grenade For You - G63 Armoured.

Ah, the G-Wagen. Few things in the car world are as classical than Mercedes' large, body-on-frame off-roader. While the iconic design is seen more often cruising the streets of Monaco or Beverly Hills, the G-Wagen has more utilitarian roots, and is very capable away from tarmac.

But what if you're a 7-figure VIP who's constantly getting on other people's bad side? Mercedes does have an in-house armouring programme, but it might not be custom enough for you. So, here's Mansory's interpretation of luxury bulletproofing.

Credits to: NetCarShow (G63 AMG - 2019)

Exterior-wise, it doesn't stray far from the rugged, muscular looks of a G-Wagen, with some small twists. The bonnet now sports a large vent, which might be needed, given that Mansory's engineers have tuned the engine to make 700, or even 800hp.

Alternatively, all that airflow would be useful if you happen to be driving through a hail of smoke bombs, and oxygen-sucking fires. Most of the exterior panels are made from carbon-fibre, which is a rather odd choice, given how expensive they can be to repair.

Credits to: Mansory (G63 Armoured)

There's a reason for that, and it's called "invisible armouring ", which is basically Mansory's way of disguising the armour-plates sitting underneath. Other than bulletproof windows and body panels, the G63 can also survive grenades and fires being thrown on the roof, and under the car.


Raging Bull - Aventador SVJ "Cabrera".

In one of the more extensive modifications made by Mansory, and something which they do only once every decade - is the Cabrera. Named after a breeding lineage of Spanish fighting bulls, it's a complete conversion of an Aventador SVJ, one of Lamborghini's maddest cars.

Celebrating Mansory's 30th anniversary and limited to just 3 units worldwide, we're looking at some of the more jaw-dropping display of Mansory's design traits, for better or worse. This is rather bold, given that if there's one company which is willing to stretch the boundaries for automotive design, that's Lamborghini.

Credits to: NetCarShow (Lamborghini Aventador SVJ - 2019)

For starters, the SVJ's entire body has been re-done, and is now entirely made from carbon-fibre. This is where Mansory deserves some applause, because it's exceedingly complicated to manufacture. More impressive, is that they've managed to embed colour into the carbon-bodywork, although this shade of green is not to my taste.

Certainly not something you want to pay for after an accident, including those re-designed headlights. I'm not sure why they've decided to change this so significantly, but I will admit, they don't look half bad. From some angles, it even mimics the design of the Bugatti Chiron's headlights, with that wide, vertical slit.

Credits to: Mansory (Aventador SVJ Cabrera)

Other crucial changes include the addition of extra inlets along the front. Around back, the diffuser has been changed, and Mansory's even doubled the number of exhaust tips, because why not? Another impressive thing, is that they've managed to extract more power from the engine.

Lambo's now-antiquated, but still awesome naturally-aspirated V12 doesn't need more power, but Mansory's skunkworks have tuned it to 810hp. This gives it a 0-60mph sprint time of just 2.6 seconds, and topping out at 355km/h. The interior sees a lot of Alcantara, which doesn't look as bad as it sounds.


Open Top Cruisin' - Bentley GTC V8.

We've just passed the dungeon's easier levels, and it just get murkier from here. It's time to put on your brave face, starting off with Mansory's seemingly subtle, but rather critical attempt to ruin a good design.

Credits to: NetCarShow (Bentley Continental GT Convertible - 2020)

Another Bentley enters the fray, this time being the Continental GTC V8. This new generation of Conti is a huge improvement over the last one, with a fresh design. Elegant and timeless, someone's surprisingly managed to make it look ugly.

Reviewing the outside first, it doesn't appear too bad from the front, excusing the turquoise accents. As with the Flying Spur, it's acceptable… Until you look at what Mansory has done on the back. Their addition of a spoiler might not sound too bad on paper, until you give it a glance.

Credits to: Mansory (GTC V8)

It looks tacky, and it certainly doesn't match the GTC's curvaceous lines. This really ruins the look for me, as the elegance fades away into nothingness, and it makes me wonder why they didn't just add a small ducktail if they'd really want more downforce.

That's not the worst part however, as we get into the GTC. Good god, why did they choose this particular shade of "vomit " to line the quilted leather. Gods help you if you've been caught driving this with the top down, though at least the 630hp-tuned engine can sprint you away rather quickly from prying eyes.


Surfing Away - Cullinan "Coastline".

Now, we're descending into darker depths, as Mansory re-creates what a bespoke Rolls Royce Cullinan can be. It's worth discussing beforehand, that the Cullinan isn't Rolls' best design work to date, and it's certainly not the best looking SUV on the market, with its design compared to a London Taxi.

Showing off Mansory's ability to make cars uglier than it should, is this hideous beast - the Coastline. If there's only one relation to an actual coastline, it's what I would rather drive this into the bottom of the ocean, never to be seen again. It just looks bad from every possible angle.

Credits to: NetCarShow (Rolls Royce Cullinan - 2019)

What was once a dignified cruiser, has been ruined by a vulgar body-kit, with satin carbon-fibre laying bare on those widened fenders and the rear diffuser. The two-tone paint is an interesting addition, but matte doesn't suit the Cullinan very well, not least because of that teal accenting.

Rolls' flying lady bonnet ornament, the Spirit of Ecstasy, is also painted in that shade of throw-up. There's just too many different layers of finishing for the design to look concise, and the addition of unnecessary vents make it look even worse.

Credits to: Mansory (Coastline)

The real treat here is the interior, where you'll see that teal colour make a return on every single leather trim. Combined with those wavy patterns, this all looks more like a children's bedroom, than a luxury SUV. Speaking of, there's also a child-seat!

I suppose if the child gets sick, it might not leave too much of a distinguishable stain on the leather. I've tried to picture other configurations that might make the Coastline look better, but I just can't. The good news, is that only 8 are being made, so it's likely that we won't see them often enough.


The Jester - Lamborghini Urus "Venatus".

Just like the Cullinan, Lamborghini's Urus does split opinions. There's no mistaking for what it is, or who makes it, but the design can be described as bulbous, to my eyes anyways. Many people like how it looks, and I respect that. Yet, if there's one thing we can agree on, is how ugly this "thing " looks.

The Venatus is a reworked Urus, and god in heaven, have Mansory made a mess with this one. It looks more of a child's toy come to life, than something you'd pay 6-figures for. There's not a single angle where the Venatus can look decent, and there's just too much unnecessary bits and pieces on it.

Credits to: NetCarShow (Lamborghini Urus - 2019)

Other than the gaudy choice of colour, there's just too many different layers of crap on it, with fins and vents galore. The exposed carbon-fibre shows Mansory's impressive engineering skills, but it also shows the lack of taste that their customers assumedly have, if this is the thing that Mansory shows off by default.

If you thought the front looked bad, then the back is even worse. The rear diffuser is made to be extremely fussy, with a tri-exhaust tip that doesn't look good. There's even a rear-spoiler to impede on your rearward vision even more.

Credits to: Mansory (Venatus)

It doesn’t get any better when you step inside, as the blue-ness of it all makes me imagine a ball-pit, or a bouncy castle. The lime-green accents help to break up all that blue leather, and it also accentuates how bad your tastes are. If you're trying not to see it in the dark, then worry not, as LED headliners will light it up for you.


The Dark Side - G63 "Star Trooper" Pickup.

Congratulations adventurer, for having survived this far. Finally, we get to fight the final boss, in Mansory's dungeon of horrors. With their target customers being the very wealthy, with rather unique tastes, it's no surprise that Mercedes' G-Wagen makes a return.

For one thing, the "Star Trooper Edition" is pretty neat, as Mansory have managed to make a G-Wagen pickup, which is rather cool. It would've been great if it stopped there, but in typical Mansory fashion, they had to ruin an otherwise good car.

Credits to: AAA Rental Cars (Mercedes-Benz G500 Cabriolet)

They didn't add too much body-kit this time, which is a blessing. Unfortunately, they've covered the body with camouflage instead. Contrary to our understanding of camo, Mansory didn't want to hide the car, rather to show it off as much as possible.

Clearly Kylo Ren had a bit of a mishap, as his lightsabre from a long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away landed on the Star Trooper instead. Combined with the camouflage, the red accents just aren't a good fit.

Credits to: Mansory (G63 Star Trooper Pickup)

Speaking of fitting, all the design elements would've still left the Star Trooper to be an otherwise practical off-road SUV, as with all G-Wagens. At least that was the case, until Mansory fitted humongous 24-inch wheels, and the thinnest tyres ever seen on a car.

With that tiny sliver of rubber, it's doubtful the Star Trooper would be any good off-road. The interior is equally gaudy, with more camouflage and LED lighting than any person needs. Still though, with an 850hp powerplant, you'll be able to get away in quick time, if you're ever pursued by Jedis and Rebel agents.


Finally, It's Over!

Credits to: GIPHY

Now, you've faced the boss and survived. Moreover, you don't get to read my ramblings any longer, or see any more ugly cars. Each person has subjective tastes, and there's certainly nothing wrong about having oddball desires, which includes unique cars. If you're passionate about it, that makes you an enthusiast, just like the rest of us.

I do wonder if Mansory's latest reveals are so bad, that they might be considered good. In any case, I'm sure they won't find it too difficult to get new clientele. I'd like to hear your thoughts on these cars, whether they're as bad as I've described them, or if you actually liked one or two.

And yes, Mansory also made a buggy thing, which is cool, but I know nothing about buggies. Besides, I think I've already made this post long enough, eh? Have a happy Sunday, or early Monday morning. With Covid-19 getting ever worse, stay safe everyone!


Thanks for reading! For more updates on my blogs, or the more minute things in life, feel free to follow me on Twitter and LinkedIn, and maybe give a shout there as well!

While you're at it, follow along @zacknorman97 for more, coming soon :-)

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